Should I Smash the Mirror?
There are times when I stop to think, and even other times, I stop to reflect. The latter is typically going to be dangerous, or you will read a posting about food, music, and characters from Star Trek performing nipple twists on each other. To me, thinking is a process where your inner voice conducts discussions with other parts of your body. The inner, constructed voice lets us know when to simple or complicated things, such as trying to figure out where you left something or how to make toast. The reflective side is where the inner voice is looking for something to either look back on and review or look forward to either causing anxiety, worry, curiosity, or even anticipation. I have no idea what separates the two, but I do know that at one time, I only listened to the thinking side.
The thinking side probably is the reason why I am still walking around asking people if they understand why there are instructions on a box of toothpicks. It was a matter of survival to have the strength of that side of my brain. Day in, day out, it ruled my actions and, quite honestly, the way I reacted to things. If I understand it correctly, it is most commonly known as "lizard brain" that takes charge of the most fundamental instincts of people. I would get up, go to work, work, go home and deal with whatever was there (for more information on this, refer to the first entry), maybe sleep, and then repeat. My fuse was short at times, and I would say things or do things to people that they did not deserve. There was nothing with meaning, and with something that I thought had a sense, it was an illusion.
Once out of the situation, the lizard brain still wanted domination over his kingdom. It wanted normalcy but had a tough time defining it. Its first thought was to buy useless stuff, stuff I never needed previously, but apparently wanted now. Then, it wanted to travel and see things to experience life. Old lizard brain apparently wanted to figure out what life was really about. It wasn't until a few years later that the reflective mind came into being. Also apparent was this mindset had more to talk about, and good God did it ever! I was introduced to reflection, well actually forced into it, by a man who I now consider a great friend. It took practice and patience before I began to be honest with myself and with others.
For example, I have learned how to let people express themselves and their feelings without instantly thinking they were completely full of shit. Before, all I would hear in my head was, "bull, bull, bull," but now, I tend to let someone go on for a bit before asking a question, instead of providing a judgment. Before I try to find fault in someone, I try to hold back the "yeah but" in hopes of finding out the big picture. Lately, I have been working on listening more and talking less. I am not even close to being good at any of these, but I notice people don't dash into their office when they see me coming.
Last week, I was talking to a friend and mentioned the information listed above, and he told me that it was I was getting older and more introspective. When I thought about it, I said that I know many people my age, and they seem to have been crown Lizard Brain Kings. He asked me a question that took me aback. He wondered, was it maybe because I liked myself more than I did back then or even five years ago. It took a long time before I could answer him because the reflective side was insisting that I look at the mirror and give an answer. Lizard boy just wanted to eat bacon, smash the mirror, and watch mindless television.
The answer I gave him was I didn't know yet, I just know that I can look in the mirror without cringing anymore.
The thinking side probably is the reason why I am still walking around asking people if they understand why there are instructions on a box of toothpicks. It was a matter of survival to have the strength of that side of my brain. Day in, day out, it ruled my actions and, quite honestly, the way I reacted to things. If I understand it correctly, it is most commonly known as "lizard brain" that takes charge of the most fundamental instincts of people. I would get up, go to work, work, go home and deal with whatever was there (for more information on this, refer to the first entry), maybe sleep, and then repeat. My fuse was short at times, and I would say things or do things to people that they did not deserve. There was nothing with meaning, and with something that I thought had a sense, it was an illusion.
Once out of the situation, the lizard brain still wanted domination over his kingdom. It wanted normalcy but had a tough time defining it. Its first thought was to buy useless stuff, stuff I never needed previously, but apparently wanted now. Then, it wanted to travel and see things to experience life. Old lizard brain apparently wanted to figure out what life was really about. It wasn't until a few years later that the reflective mind came into being. Also apparent was this mindset had more to talk about, and good God did it ever! I was introduced to reflection, well actually forced into it, by a man who I now consider a great friend. It took practice and patience before I began to be honest with myself and with others.
For example, I have learned how to let people express themselves and their feelings without instantly thinking they were completely full of shit. Before, all I would hear in my head was, "bull, bull, bull," but now, I tend to let someone go on for a bit before asking a question, instead of providing a judgment. Before I try to find fault in someone, I try to hold back the "yeah but" in hopes of finding out the big picture. Lately, I have been working on listening more and talking less. I am not even close to being good at any of these, but I notice people don't dash into their office when they see me coming.
Last week, I was talking to a friend and mentioned the information listed above, and he told me that it was I was getting older and more introspective. When I thought about it, I said that I know many people my age, and they seem to have been crown Lizard Brain Kings. He asked me a question that took me aback. He wondered, was it maybe because I liked myself more than I did back then or even five years ago. It took a long time before I could answer him because the reflective side was insisting that I look at the mirror and give an answer. Lizard boy just wanted to eat bacon, smash the mirror, and watch mindless television.
The answer I gave him was I didn't know yet, I just know that I can look in the mirror without cringing anymore.
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