For Poop Sakes!

Hey Kids! Play With Poop!

So I get a text message with the picture on the left, basically doing three things to my brain all at the same time. #1 - I sat for a moment to process what I was viewing. #2 - Wondering who came up with this idea in the first place. #3 - Wondering with so many languages on the box, was this being marketed globally. It took a long time to process why this is a bad idea, but here are the top five reasons.

Reason #1 - Playing with poop is a bad precedent to establish. If you have ever owned a dog, you learn real early not to play with poop, or even get near it. You step in it; you have to build a funeral pyre for your shoes and walk around in socks for some time. You can scoop it up if you have yard duty but NEVER mush different piles together to create something. No one wants to see your interpretation of Mount Rushmore; now jump in that vat of bleach, please.

Reason #2 - Old school Play-Doh sets involved the three primary colors red, yellow, and blue. Building something very carefully, so the colors don't mix, was the sign of a good Play-Doher. The work was meticulous because maybe it's just me; I didn't want the colors to get mashed together, so all I had was a giant ball of brownish doh. I didn't mind greens, purples, and oranges (which was the toughest color to create), but to mix all of it together was blasphemy.

We had the little press where squares, stars, and circles would emerge like elongated snakes. You had to be good at it, so you didn't pop that molding slide off of the press.  You had to know the right Doh - Pressure ratio to make sure whatever was coming out was consistent and sturdy. I don't recall creating a skyscraper and thinking it would look great with a pile of poo on top.

Reason #3 - The playset itself. So examining the box again, I noticed facial combinations that come with the kit. Think of Mr. Potato head, but with you sticking eyeballs and a mouth into poo. It even boasts that there are 30+ different combinations. I worry about the developer who had to come up with the first thirty. I am worried about the executives who greenlit this set as well. Who sits behind a desk and drafts the sales pitch for something like this? "Say, I have a brilliant idea! How about having kids dress up fake poop!" Can you imagine the marketing rep spending countless late nights at work while explaining at the same time to his/her spouse because they are working on the poo pitch?

Reason #4 - We are poo obsessed. While I am saving the majority of this part for a future posting, let's just say that this playset may summarize our obsession with fecal matter. It's in our vernacular to describe people, places, events, weather phenomenons, traffic, age, food, and so many other things. We love poop so much; we have so many products that cater to stopping it, speeding it up, cleaning up, and covering it up. The emoji is not only on everyone's keyboard; it has been emblazoned on shirts, pillows, bedsheets, cat/dog toys, and jewelry.

Reason #5 - This may be a true reflection of where we are heading as a species.