Five Years Already?

Damn,

I have been a slacker. It wasn't until just this very moment that I realized that I have been on this blog for five freaking years this month. Thanks to Rob, I am quickly approaching six years since I got my start on Quality-Television. I sometimes have to chuckle about this whole thing and how my voice has changed over the years.

I mean, I started this writing crap as a way to escape reality of what I was going through at the time. I never directly talked about what was going on because I promised myself that I would write to hone my ability to talk about things around me. I did not want this forum to become a "feel sorry for fucking Wonko" place. I still refuse to talk about things that are deeply personal for the main reason that, well, I don't talk about it on this forum.

For sure the words came quicker to me back then and the irritation at all things in life made me quite the cynical crank. I have gone back to the earlier years of this blog and wondered who in the hell wrote all of this crap.

See, I bitched about everything else because I was never willing to deal with my deepest fears and pains. I was afraid of everything that even resembled hope for a better life. When I got glimpses of it, I shut down and shut people out, even those that I cared deeply for. At the time, I really didn't know that I was doing it. Now, I do and the difference between then and now allows me to see things with greater clarity. I am a recovering asshole but I am working on it.

Bright and cheery, I know. It has taken me almost a year to get things cleared up in my head and in my life. Funny thing about life that when you finally face your deepest fears, it tends to change how you look at things.

Speaking of Rob, check out his Higher Power Shower blog which not only looks real spiffy, but his stories lately have kept me up past my bedtime. Hey Rob, thanks for getting me into this gig and yes I've slacked. Life gets in the way.

My those who have read my drudge, I apologize and thanks for coming back and maybe I have reaffirmed to myself why I use an alias for this blog...

-WTS