One of my fondest childhood pastimes has to be the board game. Before I was introduced to polyhedral dice and the dynamics of plotting dungeons on graph paper; there was the simple art of rolling a six-sided die (d6 for us geeks) and following a simple path from either one end of a board to another or sometimes in a complete circle. The rules were often not that complicated and the strategy was not to come in second place. Sure, the names and feel of each board game were different from another, but they all had the same basic plot; move your piece of plastic to the end and win. My favorites ranged from the classics such as Monopoly, Mouse Trap, Life, and Clue to the sorta prelude to the video games like Dark Tower. Our family could be often seen in the evenings doing such mischief like rolling an Yahtzee to delightfully telling each other "Sooooooorrry, back to start."
I was walking through WalMart and had a close friend on the phone at the same time. Yes, I am one of THOSE people who talk on the cell in the stores. So we were chatting away at the odd assortment of stuff that people place their belongings in when I came across the toy section. "Whoa!" I exclaimed, "They have Life on sale for about fifteen bucks."
"Really?" came the reply, "I have the original set at home."
"No shit," I was amazed I thought I was the only one with a copy.
"Yeah, teachers make $8,000."
Somehow I realized that things haven't really changed in twenty years. Not wanting to begin a tirade about teacher salary, I continued, "We need to get some of the gang together and maybe play some of the old games."
Excited, the reply came, "Yeah that sounds really cool." There was a pause and then, "Hey, do they have the 1980s version of Trivial Pursuit?"
I began to scan around at the different games that were on display on the sale rack and did not find a copy. "A ton of trivial shit but nothing that fits your description." I paused to look around and spied the aisle where the games were, "Hang on, I'll check the aisle."
I made my way to the game aisle and way once again seven years old. There were the classics that I grew up with displayed in all their glory. I even paused to gaze at my least two favorites (Candyland and Chutes & Ladders) just out of respect for their longevity. I laughed as I spotted Mouse Trap and was informed by my friend that that game apparently had no real point. I knew though that the point of that game was to build something that involved moving parts.
I was about halfway through when the childhood memory of trying to decide between Snoopy Come Home and Twister came to a screeching halt. Indeed, I was almost horrified at what I was looking at. For in front of me were about five different versions of Monopoly, three incarnations of scrabble, and two different types of Yahtzee. To say that I was a bit intrigued would be an understatement. The thought that someone had actually had a notion to alter some of my favorites also began to concern me as well.
To me it was almost as if they had forced Pluto to wear clothing because the modern generation could not understand why a cartoon character was naked on the screen. By this I mean that apparently the beloved classics had to be altered in order to appeal to a new generation. For an example, just perusing the monopoly games there was a super-deluxe version, a Star Wars incarnation and even an Indiana Jones special edition complete with a faux wood box.
Since when did George Lucas gain a foothold into Rich Uncle Pennybag's domain? This makes me so nervous on so many different levels. To begin with we all know Lucas' record when it comes to him messing with the classics. I have nightmares of me passing go with a pewter Jar Jar and wishing that I had stayed in the galactic prison with no hope for bail. Also, judging by the latest Indiana Jones, does his figure have a whip or a walker to scoot across the spaces? Are things so bad that Parker now has to sell off their rights to the game itself to the highest bidder?