Hold Me - Squeeze Me- Never Let Me Go  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in

There are different types of hugs between humankind. I would like to take a look at several of these types and test how accurate I am. Oh, and when I talk about certain appearances, please keep in mind that I am talking about how people, mostly men, have a dread fear of being perceived as being homosexual. I am by no means gay-bashing, I am pointing out the stupidity of certain ways of thinking.


M-M: Male to Male
F-F: Female to Female
F-M: Female to Male or Male to Female

Side to Side: Both people are standing side to side, not facing each other.

M-M: Usually this is a quick shoulder grab with one hand to showing slight companionship but not wanting to give off the appearance of with being too close or gay. It also leaves one hand free to punch the other guy in case something is said or done.
F-F: Not usually seen as frequently as the M-M but the female variety usually will last longer. This gives the appearance of a slight companionship as well but provides ample opportunity for both people to quickly gage the attire of each other.
F-M: The woman in this hug is not familiar with nor friendly with the male in question but does not want to appear rude while avoiding any contact. She definitely does not want any chest/crotch contact. The man in this hug interprets nothing except a woman is touching his shoulder and thinks this is an opening.

Facing-Bowing Position - The people involved are facing each other but are bowed towards each other in a fashion where only the cheeks and possibly the shoulders are touching.

M-M: Rarely will be seen in this type of hug since most males do not fancy the cheek-to-cheek hug with someone who is either 1) not a female or 2) not related. However, in the rare times that they find themselves hugging in this fashion, they will worry whether or not they appeared to be gay.
F-F: This is a common hug for women for it shows a familiarity but not always a friendly relationship. For it conveys "I know you" by facing each other, but the trust of being any closer is out of bounds.
F-M: The woman in this hug is maybe somewhat trusting of the man but not enough for chest/crotch contact. All the man knows is that he is getting hugged by a woman and if possible, this position might give an opportunity to see down her blouse.

Facing-Chest Contact:
M-M: This a very common hug for men and is distinguished by the lack of hip-to-hip contact, back thumping, and use of mixed affection and profanity. (Why you sonofabitch, I've missed you) It is okay in many opinions for this contact to last the longest of all hugs because of the thumping and profanity. Men do not consider this behavior common in gay men. 
F-F: This is also a common position for female-to-female contact for it shows open warmth for the other person. You can spot this type of hug from across a room by the characteristic of the participants' hind quarters jutting as far away from each other as possible.
F-M: This is reserved for a familiarity that is closer than just knowing someone's name. For the female it conveys trust allowing breast-chest contact without giving a false impression of interest by giving crotch-to-crotch contact. She may be demonstrating an interest in him by allowing this contact and giving a hint that she wants to know him better. She may also be expressing the emotion that this is good and close enough for her. The male knows that boobs are pressing against him and blood begins to rush to his extremities. The penis is sending a large message that he has a better than average change of getting laid.

Facing - Full Body Hug
M-M: Seen when either the participants have known each other for a very long time and don't give a shit about appearances or they are related to each other. However, for above mentioned reasons, there will be a considerable amount of back thumping and profanity going on so they don't have to think about crotch-to-crotch contact.
F-F: This is seen when either the participants have known each other for a very long time or they are related to each other. In comparison to the male variation, there is usually a great deal of verbiage exchanged that are delivered in sing-song. (Hoooow are yoooooou)
F-M: This is the ultimate sign of trust for a woman to allow this type of contact. Usually, she is the time keeper of the full body hug and will determine when release should occur. The male will usually try to smash the female against him to ensure 1) he is getting the full breast effect and 2) he is hoping she will feel amorous towards him as he begins to flex his groin muscles a bit.

There are other parts to a hug that I might not have an answer for. Example: What does it mean when in a full body hug that the female flexes her pectoral muscles?

Oh, bonus points to someone who can give me the name of the band who had a song with the same name as the title of this posting. No googling now...

-WTS

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A List to No One  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in

1. I would rather spend time holding hands than anything else

2. I don't want your pity I would like to have your understanding
3. I would rather make love then to worry about tomorrow
4. I would rather talk about feelings then mask them behind useless prattle
5. I would stop time if to have only one night
6. I would undo all my hurt that I have given others.


-WTS

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New Music  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in

Well I can honestly say that I have not really been search for new music during the summer, but in the past few weeks, I have been digging some really cool stuff.


1. The Tink Tinks - A two member band that I caught on one of those late night shows. Not bad at all and Apple is featuring them on iTunes for appearing at an unplugged session in NYC.

2. Scars on Broadway - Two former members of System of a Down (and I am guessing they are former since all evidence points to the demise of SOAD) joined together with other talented musicians and formed Scars on Broadway. Outstanding music! Do not listen to them expecting SOAD, but expect something real different.

3. Metallica is going to have a new release in mid-September and currently have two releases from it on iTunes. While one of them is definitely a fast tune and the other a slow one, it really isn't Metallica that we remember. OK, the fast one is an attempt to recapture the golden years, but something in the style of the song doesn't quite fit. The slower song is typical later Metallica and will appeal to fans of that time period. I like both songs but I have now forever buried the idea that Metallica will ever release something that I really will enjoy from cover to cover.

4. Slipknot - All hope is Gone was released this week and I am totally blow away by it. The rumors that the band had lost its grip after such a long time between the releases are bunk. I have probably worn out my iPod by listening to it but ah well...

There have been a few more, but these are the ones that leapt out to me.

Otherwise, I have been capturing 80s music videos off of YouTube so I can recapture MTV when it was actually MTV. There are tons of applications out there that allow you to download youtube videos for offline viewing. I use TubeTV which converts the files to iTunes format. I then load the files into my iTunes library, set up a playlist, and then let them whirl providing me with hours of entertainment while dredging away at whatever I'm doing. Also, I am trying to build my Little Rascals (Our Gang) collection.

-WTS


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A Conversation with Paul Simon  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in

Paul:

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
Yes I would, if I could, I surely would

Me:
I rather enjoy taking my time with certain things and is preferable to flitting around

Paul:
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would

Me: 
So you enjoy doing the striking with brute force? I would rather be the nail taking the blows at first but being the force that holds things together.

Paul:
Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world its saddest sound
Its saddest sound

Me: Okay, I can understand the need to get away, but why a swan?

Paul:
I'd rather be a forest than a street
Yes I would, if I could, I surely would

Me:
I think I see the connection here, surely not as obvious as the hammer example, but I can kinda see where you are going. But to continue your earlier statements, wouldn't you rather be a car than a street? I know you would rather be pure as a forest than concrete as a street. But bears poop in the woods.

Paul:
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would

Me:
Indeed so would I for if the earth were not be beneath my feet then I would be on my ass or floating unnaturally...

-WTS

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Five Lethal Conversation Topics  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in

I might have tapped this concept before, but it seems to have come full circle on me again and been on my mind lately. That, of course is the five lethal topics sure to add flavor to any conversation with someone who you are interested in but yet have not seen naked.


1. Religion - Although religion is a hot topic to many, I find myself open to talking about various religious beliefs, their humble beginnings, and how they all lead to the same thing. However, I have seen it happen when people of opposing beliefs really go at it thinking they are right. This all before appetizers have arrived.  I will usually sit on the sidelines for a bit before asking one of the combatants to please pass the butter. Look, to me it is simple, religion is a personal decision to believe that there is a supreme being who loves everyone who believes in him/her/it and will condemn non-believers or rule-breakers to eternal pain and suffering. Sure, there are variations here and there, but the theme is basically the same. Since most of the major religions are the same, it boggles my mind why they don't get along better and must start wars to prove they are right... More to the topic, religion is often used as a crutch to do or not to do something. "It's against my religion and I will burn in hell," should be replaced with, "Well, I'm not really comfortable with that right now, maybe later."

2. Money - It is OK to talk about the shitty economy and the fact that all executive oil corporate assholes should burn in hell, or your concept of hell. It is quite another to talk about each other's personal finances in polite company. I am once again not quite certain why this is such a stopper to ask someone, "Well, are you loaded or what?" Except for the simple fact that it would make one appear if they are digging for gold. Here is another thought, wouldn't it be better to know right off the bat that the main reason someone is interested in you is because you have money instead leading you down that falsehood trail?

3. Politics - Another toughie since as individuals, we all have a different political agenda and quite frankly, the only reason why political parties even work is that each member is hoping to get a piece, although a small piece, of the action. I agree that trying to see if someone's political views are compatible with yours might important to some but it is dangerous waters in the beginning of any relationship. I say, once again, why does it matter?  I love talking about political matters and if someone has a different approach, it is good with me.

4. Consumption - This one is closely related to money, but different in its own unique way. Commenting on what people order to eat and drink in the beginning is a very rough place to meander into. For me, I tend to order a few to relax although once the comfort level is there I will get tea more often. (This rule does not operate if the intention of going out was to have a few beers) Usually when I am with someone at an eatery, I could care less what the order for it is usually when I go out that I stray off what I'm supposed to be eating. Telling someone that they will not drive you home because he/she had fifteen beers is a good idea, asking your date whether or not it is a good idea to have a piece of pie will assure you that you will not see hers.

5. Sex - This can be related to all of the previous four topics and is the most awkward conversation for many. To many of religious faith, having sex with someone who you are not married to is a bad thing. Having too much sex will give one the label of whore. Having sex just to get money or to make sure that you will marry  into money is really superficial since the act of sex itself probably wasn't gratifying. Politics and sex are life long partners so I will not explain that. Consumption and how you feel about yourself and the person you are trying to know better are very important when it comes to sexual expression. 

I really don't get why people get so nervous about talking about sex with someone who you are trying to get to know. It must be the anal-thinking of our nation, but there it is. I would much rather know what my parter likes and dislikes instead of bumbling my way through the whole thing. But when you are starting out, talking about sex can be unsettling and maybe frightening to the other person. Talking about dressing up in drag and getting out whips might be too heavy of a topic on the first date. 

All five of these topics will eventually weave into any relationship, but if you are wise, you will first gage the person you are trying to know better and will introduce each one when appropriate.

But to those men in your 20's, I'm not holding my breath...

-WTS

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Woman's Independence Day  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in ,

The Texas Legislature earmarked the 26th of August as Woman's Independence Day, celebrating the passage of the 19th Amendment granting suffrage for all women. It is a time to not only reflect the amount of work that has been done since 1920 to help elevate the status of women in our nation, but also a time for women to look at the next generation and wonder if they understand the importance of what has been accomplished.


Yes, as a male I understand that I know nothing about women, a point that has been beaten into me over and over again. However, I would like to make the outside observation that the generation coming up has no real clue on the struggles that they are going to face in the future professionally and socially. I gather this feeling from just observing group behavior and listening to how the next generation talks.

Am I wrong about this?

Reflections?

-WTS

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Rochelle and the Forth Grade  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in

Her name was Rochelle and she at that time was in the fifth grade and I was in the forth. At that time, the wave of education was to combine the grade levels such as second and third and forth and fifth. I remember Rochelle only because she was the only fifth grader who talked to me plus she was an older woman who talked to me. I did not feel passion nor love for her but something I never experienced before, friendship with someone who was not a boy. Mind you at that time it was soccer and girls were icky. 


However, she was different than most of the other girls that I knew. First of all she could kick anybody's ass and at that time I would have bet she could have taken the principal down if he pissed her off. She wasn't rough on the surface but could switch to a Fury at the flick of a switch. Second of all, she was slight of build and yet carried a sense of great strength with her. It was the duality, not her build that fascinated me. Finally, she had a way of encouraging people to excel.

Math and I are not even close relatives. I would prefer to hangout in a tiger cage smelling of meat sauce then to even attempt long division. Throughout my childhood and even into college, I struggled with math. The only time I didn't was while I was in the forth grade and sat next to Rochelle. She would laugh every time she say me stare at my pencil as nothing but desperation was coming out of my mind. Sighing deeply, she would whisper how to solve the problems in plain, simple english and then the problem would come alive for me. 

Rochelle was also my first editor and once said that if nothing else in life I should never stop writing. I had shown her some of my early attempts at science fiction, including a story about getting kidnapped by aliens and then becoming the captain of their fleet. Every time she would read it seriously, correct a few mistakes for me, point out the serious logic flaws, and then ask when I was going to write something different. 

Once that year was over with, Rochelle left for private school and I was stuck in elementary school. Since then, I have never heard from nor seen Rochelle ever again. I therefore will send a thank you over the ether for it was during that year that I learned that math was not impossible, that creative writing was cool, and girls were not as icky as I thought they were.

-WTS

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Tacos  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in

What is it about tacos that keep my fascination with them burning as hot as the current weather outside my window?


I'm being serious. There are few culinary delights that keep my interest peaked. As I am currently chomping down on a fajita, the question came to me. Why do I love eating tacos so much? I pretty much will chow down any kinda of meat which is wrapped in a flour tortilla. (Corn to me is not a good idea due to an allergy)

Is it the taste?
Is it because the food inside is wrapped like a present?
Is it due to my fascination with food in general?
Do tacos bring back wonderful memories that only the eating of them remind me of?
Is it because I can clear a room after 5 bean and cheese?
Is it because I live where I live?
Is it because at every teacher gathering tacos are served for breakfast?
Can it be, as my friend suggested, the sexual connotations of a taco?

Whatever the reason, it seemed important enough for me to mention. 

-WTS

1 comments »

The Race is On  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in

As August has started, the remaining runners in the Presidential race have now turned the final quarter and are now in the final stretch. While the country is holding its collective breath to see who is going to win, it is also getting ready to breath a sigh of relief when next January rolls around. 


If you think about it, we have a very unique and unusual way of selecting the leader of our nation. Not only that, but power has been handed down from leader to leader without force and quite often with a handshake. This concept of peaceful transference of power blows the minds of many. Even back in 1801 when Jefferson was going to take over the Presidential burden from his political rival John Adams, many predicted that there was going to be a war. There wasn't and since that historical day, our nation has seen President after President take and leave office.

The clincher is that we take it for granted...

So during this political season, I am going to keep my eyes and ears open for the issues that mean the most to me and come November, make the choice that I think best. For I know what a rare and unusual thing our political system is and I for one love it...

-WTS

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Another New Year is Dawning  

Posted by Wonko D. Sane in , ,

Well August is here and with it comes a brand new year. You see, teachers are of a rare breed and for the most part our year does not begin with snow-covered ground or a hangover from one hell of a party. For many of us, it begins with the smell of freshly hewn lawns and the sticky steam of summer's wrath. For whatever reason, we seem to approach August with the same philosophy as many do on December 31st, full of hope for the upcoming year. 


I have heard that some often celebrate the day before reporting back to work in a similar fashion which would explain the extraordinary looks of bleariness...

Now there are those who are not in the profession who feel that teachers in general do not deserve the time off that they get. That teachers have it easy and not worth the pay that they get. 

Try putting yourself in a room with 30-35 teenagers at an hour at a time, 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. Get out a pad and pen and calculate the endless hours spent off contract correcting papers, attending events, contacting parents, and the other unmentioned duties that are performed. Calculate what it is worth to be cussed out, sometimes threatened. Add in the times that hearts are broken when that one student drops out or even worse. Sum up the times that promised raises do come through but not enough to cover skyrocketing costs of health insurance.

Yet, we keep coming back because many of our kids need us as much as we need them...

-WTS

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